We get so preoccupied with everything that’s going wrong that sometimes we forget everything that’s going right. It’s easy to list problems. I think I might even have a warped obsession with it. I like to wallow in self-pity. I like to feel sorry for myself. After all, no one likes to think they deserve the crap they’re getting.
Ironically, it’s hard to count your blessings sometimes. It’s hard to see what you have going for you. It’s bloody terrifying. You start to realize, hey, my life…well it’s kind of awesome. You list down everything that’s been making you happy, and then you realize, I’m okay. I’m better than okay.
I don’t know about you for certain, but I’m horrified of being truly at peace and happy. I somehow think that the second I let that happen, life will throw me a hard ball and my temporary bliss will shatter.
I think over the past few months that the reason why life’s challenges got me down so easily was because I let it. In fact, I wanted it to. I was so convinced I did not deserve happiness that I made every problem seem impossible. I exaggerated every little issue, magnified it by a thousand times, then a thousand times more, such that I could make myself truly miserable.
I’m learning how to look at the bigger picture.
I can learn from every obstacle.
I can be happy.