‘Cause Nothing Goes As Planned

 

I really like this song.

1. Some days are full of “I-can-do-this”s. Full of “time to Carpe Diem”s, “#leggo”s, “I will prove y’all buttheads wrong”s. Some are just more honest. “I’m scared”s, “who am I kidding?”s, “what the hell am I doing”s. I really just want it all to be over. Wasted potential, plain stupidity. I still don’t know which of the two categories I belong to, and frankly, I don’t want to know. I’m really really really demoralized. My grades are so shitty, I’ve lost the willpower to bounce back with tenacity, to say “I’ll try again”, and mean it. Sure I’ve not given up, but I’m not really giving it my best either. It’s a coward’s game. I seem to be good at that. Never try my hardest, so I’ll never be told it’s not enough.

2. Whywhywhywhywhy do you do this to meeeeee? Bang bang bang bang, straight through my heart.

3. I don’t get mad anymore, in all honesty I just can’t be bothered. Back when I’d tense up, when I’d get frustrated, it was because I cared. It was because I gave a shit, that’s why it mattered. Now…do what you want, you aren’t my problem.

 

There’s a lot more I need to say, but none of it appropriate to be said to a screen, typed on a keyboard. I’ll find someone to say it to. If I find none, I’ll just write another song about it.

 

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