I go to seek a great perhaps.

TODAY IS MISS JOANNA ANG’S BIRTHDAY SO BEFORE I START THIS REALLY BORING AND BLAH POST I’M GONNA SAY NICE THINGS TO HER.

HI JO,

YOU ARE V SPASTIC SOMETIMES, AND IT’S SO SICKENINGLY DIFFICULT TO TAKE UNGLAM SHOTS OF YOU URGH WHY YOU PUT THE FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH SO FAST, ANNOYING ONLY. YES ANYWAY, I LOVE YOU, OKAY?

And I can’t promise I’ll be there for you for forever, because none of us really knows what’s going to happen in the future, but I will still try my best to always be a listening ear when you need one!

OKAY MUSHY MOMENT OVER.

Jonathan Safran Foer amazes me time and time again at his ability to translate my oh so jumbled thoughts into simple words.

“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.” 

It’s bullshit, really. I’m so scared of walking out of the pathway that has been set for me, so scared of wandering out of my little pond of safety. I call this the asian predicament. So many of us live so cautiously, it’s actually really sickening.

I mean, when people say “you only live once”, not many people actually think about what this means. When I’m dead, I won’t have the chance to crowd surf, to start some indie rock band or randomly climb trees. None of us are living like we’ll die, because the end just doesn’t seem that near.

“Why didn’t I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.”

This. Really. I am forever failing at Carpe Diem-ing. I’m so bad at seizing opportunities, or making the most of whatever that sometimes I really can’t stand myself for it. SHEESHKEBABS.

Maybe somehow I’ll find a way to wade out of my cozy little pond to find something bigger; something greater.

In the mean time, I’ll be listening to this:

It’s tragic, but it’s true. 

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