Today actually gave me a lot to think about. Everyone was complaining about how bad the course was and I was no exception, but I kinda realize now I shouldn’t have.
It’s things like the suffering LRA’s victims, that remind me that there are bigger problems than having to sit in an airconditioned room for a full day, with people trying to help you be motivated, and trying to help you achieve your goals.
Why do I even need a reminder?
Sometimes I don’t even understand why I have what I have. Today the speaker said something that echoed some of the thoughts I have very often. “We have way too much, don’t you agree?” I do. Sometimes when I think about the kind of pain – physically, mentally and emotionally – that people of countries like Uganda or Somalia go through, I feel so stupid; so whiney; so shortsighted. I feel so guilty at how I have every opportunity to succeed, but instead I idle my time away, while people in Uganda are spend their time running away. Whenever I start feeling all depressed about being fortunate, too fortunate, I tell myself that I am put where I am for that reason. I have convinced myself that I’ve been put here for nothing more than to get a good education, a good job, and a stable income, so that I can make a difference. People don’t always understand it when I say that I want to make a difference, and sometimes I don’t believe it myself. It always seems so idealistic, that so few people actually even try. Which, I suppose, is the main problem, because when many people do small things, they can create a big difference, but not many people are willing to give it a shot. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Something else I rationalized today. I refuse to conform to mindsets that are so unwilling to get out of comfort zones, so I will, at least, try.
“Be the change you want to see in the world.”