Whenever I’m sick – too sick to move but not too sick to think – I start contemplating about weird and random things. Okay so today, I was thinking about how unworthy and how unholy I am. My whole being is just so… incomparable to You.
I try, I really do, but it’s just so hard. And to be “not of the world”…well that’s really hard too. I mean, I guess I’m not being called to do something totally impossible, but it’s just so hard, damnit <– example of unholiness right there.
I don’t really swear, but I kinda still do (like the swear words that aren’t really). I try not to be judgmental, but sometimes I just can’t control my thoughts. I’m thankful for what I have most of the time, but I lapse in my gratitude. And I wish, so much, that I was more generous and gracious, but I’m just so selfish, and so competitive so often.
I guess this is grace. That I may be so flawed in comparison, but still loved.