Hurts Like Heaven



Today sucked. Okay seriously, I hate being sick. My throat feels like I swallowed needles, my head feels like someone dropped a ton of bricks on it, and I just feel so weak. NYAAGHH. Ahh well, at least I feel a little bit better than I did this morning.

Yesterday someone told me that I should just face my feelings, and stop living in denial. Hmm, the problem with that is that I just can’t. I can’t admit to myself that after everything, I’m still at the same place; I still feel the same. I refuse to give in to the thought of just falling back into my old habits because it’s in my comfort zone.

You’re in my comfort zone.

Every time I start to daydream or wonder, I stop myself – I do something else. Don’t get me wrong, I really, honestly think I don’t have feelings for you, I just like to imagine what it’d be like if something ever actually happened between us. That’d be amusing. But then again, my stupid self would probably never agree to anything anyway, because I’d be so scared of losing you. I mean, our friendship has had it’s fair share of drama, but we got through all of that, didn’t we? And I’d just hate for anything to jeopardize that.

Oh well, oh well, I still hope for the best.


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