Guilt trip

He’s killing me with kindness. 

Boy, why’re you so nice to me oh good god. Every time he sends me a text or IMs me, I feel horrible because I know I’m being an ass to him. Okay maybe not an ass per say, and I don’t really know how to be around him.

If I’m too nice, it’s like I’m leading him on. Actually I don’t even know if I’ve been accidentally doing that, because I talk to him like I would to any other person and maybe that’s too nice. But I can’t be mean to him and completely ignore him or anything like that because he’s just so sweet and we’re still friends after all and I don’t wanna upset him (even though I know I already have).

I wish things were the way they used to be. Everything’s so much more simple when you’re nine. There’s no such thing as one friend falling for the other, and everything’s just not awkward or complicated at all. I remember how it was when we were like that. But now I have to watch everything I say or do because I’m afraid I’ll lead him on or be too mean and hurt him really bad.

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